Sunday, January 8, 2012

Married and lonely

So I'm married, but it seems pointless.  My wife only has sex with me every few months, and usually when it's a special occasion like our anniversary or my birthday.

I could chalk it up to me being poor in bed, except she used to actually express a desire for me.  When she was on her period, she would provide in other ways and tell me, "I must take care of my man."  We have been married for over five years now, and she no longer has any such concern.  She won't even let me see her in her underwear.  I understand that I could not be providing for her in the ways that she wants, but when I try to inquire about the subject, her only answer is that she doesn't feel confident in herself.  How can I try to improve if there is a refusal to even discuss the subject.

Frankly, I don't know how to deal at this point.  I'm a fiercely loyal man, but I'm not sure what to do.  Sex isn't the center of my world, but when you're married to someone who won't even let you see them naked, much less entertain sex, how are you supposed to deal with things?  Am I supposed to remain loyal when I'm not even allowed to see my wife undress, much less fool around?

I have no desire to cheat, or even divorce.  Yet, how is a marriage supposed to last when the woman you swore devotion to is only interested in a relationship that involves saying, "I love you, goodnight." while never acknowledging a man's more base desires?  Am I out of line?

Signed,
Married and Lonely